Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Freeeeeaaakky dream

It can be quite boring listening to people describe their dreams. It's like when people reenact funny scenes from a TV sitcom - it's only a pale imitation of the genuine experience. However, this one was so weird I have to record it for posterity, even if it's just my own personal posterity.

I was on some sort of archaeological dig. I can't remember if I was wearing Indiana Jones-style clothing, but I really hope I was. I think I was at least wearing dusty headgear of some kind. I was led into a cave to view the latest find: an ancient and mysterious creature.

The creature was languishing in a rusty metal bathtub. It was large enough to fill the entire bathtub, it was shaped like an electric shaver and it was covered in a thick layer of primordial slime. The longer I looked at it (from a safe distance) the less sure I was that it was animal and not machine. The head of the animal/machine was bulbous and dark, and covered in slime/glass like a cockpit. Inside the head was a small white spaceman floating around in black space.

When the creature saw me it began to thrash around wildly. I waved hello, matching its excitement so it wouldn't get offended and attack me. The head/cockpit split open and the spaceman floated out towards me. When it got closer and removed its helmet I realised it was a woman with curly red hair. She seemed a practical, scientific sort. She explained to me that I was special and they wanted to make me the first person to be physically modified so that I emitted no carbon at all. I was quietly excited to be chosen; I felt like I could be at the forefront of human evolution.

Cut to some sort of archaeological staffroom: I was told that the creature was extremely dangerous, and that the operation they suggested was surely going to kill me. It was suspected that the creature was part of an alien cult. I was alarmed: how was I going to get out of the operation without raising the ire and the vengeance of the slimy primordial creature/machine?


  1. Dear lovely housemate, I am reading strong influences from recent episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer into your dream. Also some Kubrick.

    Noble and worthy influences.

    I have other theories, but they can be communicated offline, methinks.